Can you imagine if Alcatraz island, went up for sale?

If ya’ll have not been out on the ferry to Alcatraz, you simply have to go.

Alcatraz is owned and operated by the National Park service and is open to visitors 362 days a year. It’s closed for Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day and very rarely, if there’s dangerous weather. The island has night tours on Tuesday and Saturday which has a whole other level of spooky vibes! There are so many deliciously creepy stories about events and people who were housed, worked at or visited Alcatraz Island. You can see in the way the waves crash on surrounding rocks, in the dingy cold dampness of the prison itself, the place was no picnic. It’s the perfect haunted specimen, the visuals, the sounds and smells, it all seethes and seeps into even the staunchest nonbeliever. There are feelings and the presence of dark history that will never go away.

Alcatraz has become a pop culture phenomenon over the years; it’s easily recognized as a notable San Francisco landmark. It’s been in 9 films including X-Men, the Rock, and Catch me if you can. It’s been featured heavily as the backdrop in tv shows and video games. It is a visual specimen that says San Francisco Bay Area in its own specific way.

The island is known for housing some of the most gnarly criminals in America, but less commonly discussed is the fact that it also housed 300 civilians, the families of guards, wives and children.

Alcatraz island had its own bowling alley and soda shop. It had a post office, commissary and a preschool. Older kids had to boat into the city for school, and teenagers had to wear dog tags that proved they were residents of the island.

Have ya’ll heard about the tunnels under the island? There have been rumors and tales of escape tunnels for decades, but in 2019 myth became a fact. Using laser scans, archeologists discovered real escape tunnels under the prison. Researchers were surprised to find the tunnels were hella old, dating all the way back to Civil War times in the 1860s.

An idea we’re entertaining today, is what would happen if Alcatraz went to the market for sale?

It would take a very special kind of buyer to own this island. Would it be a corporation? A tech mogul? A Saudi prince? It’s gorgeous, there nothing like the views this island has, the commute to San Francisco and the East Bay are unique to say the least. The assets, the upsides, the list of one of a kind aspects owning the island offers are lengthy! But let’s be real, the prison wasn’t built on this island, with no living escapees for no reason. The weather can be rough, the waters are legitimately rough, you be out there with the dang sharks. It’s damp and cold, like all the time. It could be a wild out of this world mansion, but not without a butt load of investment in build out that makes at least a portion of it somewhat comfortable. It would need insulating, it would need HVAC and flooring and windows, just as a few bottom rung basics. But man, could you imagine rooms like the mess hall redone and styled by some one with money to dump into it? The windows and the size of the room, the light and the skyline so clearly visible would be incredible.

What could be done with the rows of cells? Would they be removed and built into incredibly high-ceilinged living spaces of various kinds? That would be wild.

Dark tourism has become a huge industry. Alcatraz has some unsettling stories that you can’t get anywhere else. It would be easy to envision a new owner running lucrative tours where you could focus on the most fascinating criminal history that passed through those walls. Possibly an overnight stay portion? What if cells were built into rentals where brave visitors could document on their social’s nights spent in prison, in the dark…

It would be easy to feature a world class haunted house. You could make it less scary, but still one of a kind BnB, where breakfast is served in a cafeteria where prisoners ate their peas. It might be weird, but people would come, guaranteed! Wonder if we’ll ever see a day when the island changes hands in ownership. Oh, the possibilities!


Update: Surprise surprise, Trump went and ran his mouth the same week we put together this cool piece about Alcatraz. Trumps word vomit about reopening Alcatraz has totally made it weird. We felt the need to hop on and clarify; we’re just over here writing cool stuff about our SF Bay Area. We had no idea he was going to pop off and say some crazy stuff, it’s just awkward timing. Sorry it went down like that; we appreciate your patience with the weirdness.

National Trump says he will reopen Alcatraz for the 'most ruthless and violent' prisoners